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Not since Grace of Monaco was the echo of groans and guffaws so deafening in Cannes’ famous Theatre Lumiere, but at least that raspberry wasn’t in competition. Usually the boos are reserved for the Out-of-Competitioners, the showy, celeb-driven vehicles that find a slot on the red carpet thanks to under the table deals and guarantees of star presence. But if there was ever a year that demonstrated how the line between these movies and those in competition had been blurred, this was it. On that note, we begin with…
IT’S ONLY THE END OF THE WORLD
The star-wattage of this vehicle guaranteed it a prime spot at this year’s Cannes, and Canadian auteur Xavier Dolan knew it. For years his films hadn’t quite made it into the Croisette major-league, but rather headlined other sections outside of the Official one (or sometimes, other festivals entirely). All that changed with Mommy – however, he missed out on the coveted Palme d’Or. This was his second shot, and his first with a star-studded marquee, with Marion Cotillard, Léa Seydoux, Gaspard Ulliel and Vincent Cassel all playing bickering family members. Alas, the film was savaged by critics – Dolan’s first flop. And despite nabbing one of the festival’s top prizes, the future of this one isn’t assured.
“Makes EastEnders look like an oasis of peace” – The Evening Standard
“a frequently excruciating dramatic experience in which characters seem almost never to stop talking” – Variety
“I could go on about what this film gets wrong – its ham-handed cuckoo-clock motif meant to symbolize Louis’s fleeting time, its almost incomprehensible English subtitles – but I think it’s best to just put this mess behind us and look forward, with an uneasier optimism than before, to what Dolan does next.” – Vanity Fair
“Giving Xavier Dolan the Grand Prix is the worst Cannes jury decision in a very, very long time.” – Tweet by Variety’s Guy Lodge
The Defence:
“It’s Only the End of the World is confrontational absurdism: a fascinating, sustained assault.” – The Guardian
THE LAST FACE
There was no saving face with Sean Penn’s latest. Much like Dolan, expectations were high after some excellent directorial efforts, but less like Dolan, the result was even more of a washout. Charlize Theron, who plays the director of an aid agency in Africa looking back on past tragedies, looked rather awkward on the red carpet. Was it because of her recent split with the director, or was she letting on something the audience were yet to know? The film was not picked up for distribution in the US during the festival – the kiss of death (just ask Gus Van Sant).
“The rumours are true: The Last Face is a turd of cataclysmic proportions. One of the biggest cock-ups we’ve seen since the invention of slow-motion” – Libération
“It’s an extended Band Aid video, shoddily assembled…self-satisfied posturing rather than film-making and a staggering misfire for all involved.” – The Guardian
“Penn seems to be begging for credit, for being the type of caring-and-sharing guy to alert our attention to a continent’s woes, but then he consigns those very woes to thoughtless, backdroppy, vacuous oblivion” – The Telegraph
The Defence: We’re still looking…
PERSONAL SHOPPER
Again, expectations were through the roof for Assayas’ latest, and after some bizarre teasers went out showing Kristen Stewart as a medium haunted by her deceased brother, the director’s fans got seriously excited. Despite jeers in the Theatre Lumiere, some were quick to point out that many of Cannes’ best films were booed (Pulp Fiction, anyone?). It’s too soon to say if the jury is out on the film that divided most opinion, but it is clear that this one has not given audiences quite what they wanted (a good thing?). That said, time will be very kind to the one film at the festival that actually had its hype boosted by the negative reviews.
“Attempting to refit the tropes of supernatural cinema to middle-brow ends, Assayas ultimately delivers a ghost story with no scares wrapped around a psychological drama with no intellectual purchase.” – Irish Times
“We truly get the impression of having missed something that could have been great. What a shame it’s a misfire” – Publik’Art
The Defence:
“There are bad films and there are films that are booed at festivals, and the two groups don’t necessarily overlap. Personal Shopper is one of the latter.” – Daily Telegraph
“This is daring and rule-bending filmmaking at a minimalist scale, a personal, contemplative horror movie, stripped of observable fright but full of unease.” – wegotthiscovered.com
THE NEON DEMON
After the drubbing Only God Forgives received in 2013, cinephiles of the Riviera were cautious as to how director Nicolas Winding Refn’s next opus would pan out, always willing to give second chances to directors who make stellar Cannes debuts (in this instance, the 2011 hot ticket, Drive). As with Personal Shopper, whether you would include this sapphic supermodel splatter movie in this list is debatable, as amongst the poor reviews, there were some five star plaudits. However, unlike Andrea Arnold’s American Honey (which US and UK critics adored, but European critics dismissed) the overall response here was generally in the “˜style over substance’ vein or “˜more of the same’. Unlike the other films in this list, however, the Cannes reviews matter not one jot to its box office potential.
“If The Neon Demon gripped our imaginations with greater force, it might have been a phenomenon instead of just a Grand Guignol curio.” – Variety
“Nicolas Winding Refn makes Zoolander 3… it lacks the focus and wallop of his earlier work” – The Guardian
“… putrid atrocity of a film … The viewer is left to stare at a ponderous and incoherently stitched-together succession of vapid images for what feels like an eternity until the carnage starts.” – The Film Stage
The Defence:
“A gorgeous, grisly work which holds a (vanity) mirror up to modern society’s corroded moral core.” – Little White Lies
THE DANCER
Being as gaudy and immature as a debutante’s ball, it’s no surprise Cannes loves a celeb offspring shower, but the ball was not only dropped with this Loie Fuller biopic but kicked – and not over the crossbar – but again and again by some seriously mean critics. Had the film not been the screen debut of puppy-smuggler Johnny Depp and chanteuse Vanessa Paradis’ sprog – Lily-Rose Depp – it may not have attracted such derision (or, it could be argued, have even been selected), but what with it being based on a celebrated dancer who the director claimed was an unknown in pre-Cannes press interviews, the writing was on the wall for this one.
“An airy, prettily accoutred but essentially vapid feature debut” – The Hollywood Reporter
“Pedestrian construction and ill-conceived script, unlikely to spark interest in one of the most innovative and influential performers of the last century and a quarter.” – Variety
The Defence:
“There is little doubt that the film strays into sentimentality and melodrama, particularly toward the end, but a powerful, muscular performance from Soko as the titular dancer imbues the film with a seriousness and intensity that mitigates the clichéd plot points.” – The Upcoming.co.uk
Browse the Cannes Official Selection titles of yore here.
